Chapter 2: The neighbors will have to wait!

      "Ow, my eye! Freakin' hobbit! 'Tis I! Radagast the Brown! I have come for your assistance!" he cried aloud.

      Till stood, wide eyed, mouth opened, fly unzipped... he didn't know what to do, so he threw another egg.

      "AAAH!!! RIGHT IN THE POTATOE SACK!!!" he screeched as he kneeled over. "You could have ruined a potatoe!" he pulled a bag of three potatoes out of his pocket.

      "Sorry... but who are you?!" Till finally said.

      "'Tis I! Radagast the- oh, just read the first paragraph!" replied radagast, rubbing his potatoes. "You must figure out what is going on lately... the catfish are crazy... the sun doesn't shine... my wife is menopausel... something odd is going on! You must find out what and stop it before it's too late!"

      "But why me?!"

      "Because you're the main character! Now git' ta gittin'! And take that flea-bitten plug, Dudo, with you!" and with that, he shoved Till out the door and slammed it shut. "Stupid gullible hobbits..." he mumbled, eating Till's rice cake supply and rummaging through his refrigerator.

      "Where to now- hey! The old guy's in my refrigerator!" Till picked up a rock and chucked it through the open window at Radagast.

      "Owchies! I was just searching for clues! Now git' to gittin'!" Radagast said, rubbing his head.

      "My booty..." mumbled Till. And so, they walked guessingly. After a minute of walking, they heard an explosion from behind. When they looked back, they saw Till's hole on fire (sicko!).

      "My hole!" screamed Yoda- I mean Till!

      "Woops! My bad!" yelled Radagast, amidst the smoke. "Darn staff's malfunctioning again! I'll rebuild your hole! Keep walking!"

      "Betcha' five farthings he doesn't fix it..."

      "You're on!" giggled Dudo. Moments later, they heard loud cursing and a scream from Trey.

      "A wizard protecting my ham... that'll keep that cow, Trey, away!" muttered Till. But when he looked back, he saw Radagast eating his ham. He noticed Till looking and yelled, "Git' ta Gittin'!" Till made a rude hand gesture and walked on.

      "Git' ta gittin' is all he ever says!" said Dudo. A rock suddenly hit his head.

      "Git' ta gittin'!" yelled the wizard shaking his fist.

      "Son of a-!" started Dudo, but Till stopped him.

      "Don't waste your breath..." Till said.

      "Yeah! And Git' ta gittin'!" Radagast yelled again.

      "AAARGH!" they screamed together. They turned and threw a barrage of rocks at him, as he yelped and hid under some rubble.

      We interupt this lame story for an important news "bulaten" Jr has made a hundred and now an angry mob is running after him we can only expect the worst Mean while trey and David got their same paper graded it at the same time and made the same grade! Well I gatta go join that mob *grabs pitch fork and torch*

      And that concludes our short, unecessary, "bulaten" by David... Now back to your lame story!

      After two hours of walking, they came upon a mysterious looking tree... "Where were you on the night of July twelth?!" Dudo suddenly yelled, pointing at the tree.

      "Uh... Dudo...? I think that's just a tr-"

      "Quiet, Till! Can't you see I'm busy sluething?!" Dudo whispered in reply, as Till slapped his forehead. "Oh... not gonna talk, eh? How about..." Dudo took out a chainsaw, "...now?!" He chopped it in half.

      "Idiot!!!" Screamed Till, running away.

      "Say wha-" Dudo's sentence was abruptly ended when the tree landed on him.

      "Till schlapped his forehead and stuffed Dudo's limp body into his sack. Thirty minutes later, they arrived at Mongo's. It was dark inside... suddenly a light came on... There was a man...

      "I've been... expecting you..."

      Till threw an egg.

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Chapter 3: The author is bored...