two years to date:So what is happening in my life: my freind shad who really meant more than he knew to me hung himself. it still hasnt quite hit me but here is a poem for him:

 I Remember a wonderful time

When we met down the street,
On a misty dream kind of night,
We were young but not innocent,
The days when time seemed endless,
We talked about things from our favorite movies,
to what we want in our lives,
Your image in my mind is clear like the starry sky,
Now you have left me here to wonder,
If I will ever see you again,
Things I will never forget like the sunset we never got to watch together,
Or the nights when we walked and talked till three,
So many words we will no longer breath to speak,
I wish you could tell me how you felt,
When the rope tightened around your neck did you struggle to stop it,
Tell me if you feel more at peace now that your gone,
Should I feel that this was for the best of you,
I’m sorry for not being able to love you like you thought she did,
If I could get past everyone else maybe you would still be here with me,
Why couldn’t other people just look a little closer,
Every time I look at the stars,
I will remember laying in the wet grass,
with your warm body next to me like it once was.

In loving memory of Elliot Vrbka (Shad)
I will always love you

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A poem for the soul:

Lost In Me

My depression is sucking me back in like a tonrado to a cloud,
A dark storm front with little forgivness closing in,
The ceilings seem to crumble in on me,
Walls become dust and trees begin to burn,
If there were any corners left i would hide in them,
My souls life has withered and my fear has stopped knocking,
Bury a sooted face in these numb hands,
The sun that use to warm my skin is now closed from my eyes,
It is like a black plague that has taken over my body,
dieing in my own shallow hole of hoplessness,
Nothing can unlock the poswer of this, there is no key,
To unlock me from this calcium cage,
I have lived a nieve life and now i am dieing a dead one,
My own self-inflicted blood shed is like its own routine,
There is nothing anyone can do and nobody will ever realize,
The hurt and pain of being in your own prison is lost,
Lost like a star in the sky or laying in an empty bottle,
It is lost in me.

I don't personally suffer from depression but many of my close friends and loved ones do.